I have heard of mud wrestling. And I have heard of yogurt
wrestling. But until my recent experience, I had never heard of high-build
primer wrestling.
Before applying top coat paint to the Lady C, I needed to
apply a high-build primer to smooth the surface. I bought a quart of RustOleum
Topside Primer at the local DIY store and asked the paint clerk to put the can
on the paint shaker for a while. After a few minutes on the shaker, I took the
can home and opened it.
The shaker did nothing. There was about a half-inch of resin
on top of 3 inches of stiff white clay-like stuff. After breaking a stir stick
or two trying to mix the stuff, I decided to dump it into a bucket and hit it
with a mechanical paint mixer. There was no dumping. Other than the resin, the
clay-like stuff did not pour out of the can. I had to use a stiff kitchen
spatula to scrape the crud out of the quart paint can and into the bucket.
Then I inserted my Jiffy Mixer, mounted on a drill, and
pulled the trigger. The mixer grabbed a hold of the clay-like stuff, spun it at
high speed and flung paint all over the shop. Time to move this operation outside.
With the Jiffy Mixer at low speed, I worked it until it
looked mixed. Ready to roll it onto the boat, I poured it into a paint roller
tray. It came out like runny lumpy mashed potatoes. Still too lumpy to apply to
the boat so I decided to run it through a paint strainer.
I lined a bucket with a cloth paint strainer sock and poured
the runny lumpy mashed potato-like substance into the strainer. Then I lifted
the strainer sock expecting the stuff to run through, with a little help from
my latex-glove-lined hands. A little bit of liquid ran through the strainer but
the bulk of the clay-like stuff remained in the strainer. No problem, I’ll just
squeeze the stuff through the strainer with my hands.
It was not cooperating. The mesh of the strainer was very
fine and the clay-like stuff was just a ball of sticky goo inside the sock
strainer. I squeezed and kneaded and twisted and smooshed, eventually working all
the goo through the strainer and into the bucket. I tossed the strainer in the
garbage can and began wiping the sticky clay-like stuff off my latex gloves. It
was at that precise moment that I realized the latex gloves were mutilated,
torn to shreds. Not only were my bare hands covered in the sticky clay-like
stuff, there were shreds of latex in the paint bucket. It is just not my day.
I peeled the remains of the latex gloves off and tossed the
remains in the garbage can. I managed to find my way to the sink in the garage
and tried to wash the sticky clay-like stuff off my hands using orange pumice
hand cleaner. No – the hand cleaner could not remove the sticky clay-like stuff.
I would have to break my own rule and use a solvent.
I went back outside and found a can of paint thinner. I took
it into the woods and proceeded to create a ground contamination hazard by
drenching my hands in paint thinner, several times, spilling paint thinner all
over the ground, but eventually cleaning most of the sticky clay-like stuff off.
Then I went back to the sink for another round of orange pumice hand cleaner.
Ah, finally all cleaned up. Except – my wedding ring was
gone. It is really not my day. Where is the ring? Buried in the strainer and
latex clumps in the garbage can? In the paint bucket? I put on another pair of
latex gloves and started the search. I carefully sifted through the garbage can,
squeezing each latex shred and the entire length of the strainer sock. But I found
nothing. Then I dipped my hands in the paint bucket. Between the pieces of
latex gloves and clumps of sticky clay-like stuff, I blindly located my ring at
the bottom.
I cleaned up the ring. Then I applied the primer to the boat
using a brush so I could spot the latex glove pieces and pull them off the
boat. I could also find the lumps of clay-like stuff and mix them in on the
surface of the boat.
It came out very nice. Now that is a good day!
